I went to the gym yesterday and had another interesting encounter as I was boxing. This isn’t a boxing gym, however it does have some heavy bags and a double end bag and this area is open to everyone to see as it is next to the track and across from cardio machines. I love hitting the double end bag as I like the movement and the lack of impact on my wrists. Anyway, after I finish my little workout on that bag, I proceeded to walk towards the weight room and to do so I have to be on a little track that people walk and run on. I of course saw people walking in one direction as designated, but it’s just a very short distance to get to the other area if I go against the flow. I do this every time. When doing this, I will avoid the oncoming traffic and walk in the lane that is for running when everyone else is walking in the neighboring lane and avoid throwing off anyone’s stride. I noticed a group of walkers coming toward me and in the walking lane. There was a couple I saw in front of me kind of merge over to be in front of me in the running lane at the last second. So, as I try to avoid them coming my way, I made myself smaller by walking along the rail and turned sideways. They moved at the last minute so I could walk by, but not after he made sure to correct me that I was going the wrong way. : ) This is interesting because this person was actually in a lane that is reserved for running and not walking, however they felt it necessary to block me to correct me. Now, the old me would have had his ego bent and bruised and would have said something back to this gentleman probably challenging him. I sort of surprised myself as I had no reaction as if i didn’t hear him. I found it unusual that someone would go out of their way to correct me without regard to them moving into the wrong lane. I was not too surprised in my reaction though because this is something I have been working on and practicing for a long time. I don’t mind confrontation. My boxing training helped me with this. Confrontation is not desired, but sometimes necessary.
The moral of this story is based on a concept found in the book “The Four Agreements”. That concept is don’t take anything personally. How could I take it personally when this person doesn’t know me. He would have acted this way towards most anyone that did what I did. I personally think there was some posturing going on to show his wife that he was tougher than the guy that was beating up the bag pretty well. Not many people actually box there and very few have any skills and training in boxing that I’ve seen. Regardless of his reasoning for doing so, I was happy to not take it personally. Sometimes people have a bad day. Sometimes people are having a bad life. Regardless, that’s not my business and my business is to keep the highest vibration I possibly can involving Love.
What people say, what they do, and the opinions they give are based on how they view themselves and that may even be subconsciously. They are acting out their own self judgments. By taking things personally, you are thinking that the world and everyone revolves around you … that everything is about you. This is narcissism and a maximum expression of negative selfishness. Not taking anything personally is the ultimate defense to a confrontation no matter how big or small. In other words, we can say to ourselves, whatever they think, whatever they feel, I know this is their problem and not mine. It is nothing personal, because they are dealing with themselves, not with me. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is always about them. Even the opinions we have about ourselves are not necessarily true. Therefore, you don’t need to take whatever negative self talk you hear in your own mind personally. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. Taking nothing personally helps you to break many habits and routines that trap you in the dream of hell and will cause needless suffering. Just by practicing this, we begin to break dozens of teeny, tiny agreements we have made personally that cause us to suffer. When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many upsets in your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don’t take things personally. As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others. You are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
I certainly have been that guy before who needed to correct me in front of his wife. The former me would go out of my way to find trouble at times. This always stirs up more trouble. I’m thankful that my ego has shrunk, not that it’s all gone even though that is a goal. I try to practice humility daily and accept all people as children of God and allow everyone to be in their choice. I am not better than anyone else and God doesn’t love anyone more than another. I’m thankful for this Wisdom that I’ve been given. I am thankful for the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. The follow up book “The Fifth Agreement” is amazing as well.
Do you ever struggle with your ego? Is taking things personally a habit for you? I see it everywhere. How dare he cut me off a little closer than I wanted on the freeway! It is funny how we react. What do you think about this? Have you read this book?
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