Go With the Flow

There are times I realize that I am utterly exhausted. There are times I realize I am also sad and do not know why. Right now, I am both. I know that the exhaustion is from paddling upstream. My emotional effort can create the sadness from exhaustion. I don’t always realize I am working so hard with maximum effort to have what I want. This seems odd to me because it would appear that I am not self-aware.

I think it is that I am not present when putting in this work. Presence is everything. When I am not present, I cannot truly enjoy what is happening or what I am doing. When I am with effort paddling upstream, I am actually in the future and not present. I think the sadness may be from not achieving the end result I am seeking through my upstream paddling as well.

Let me clarify, I am getting no where while paddling this way. In fact, maybe you can understand that the current is more powerful than my muscles I have. I cannot overcome the power of the Universe or the sheer strength and weight of water and it’s flow. It is funny that even though I am trying to go my own way, the power of the current is still taking me downstream no matter how hard I paddle. It is so much more adventurous to go downstream and discover where I am taken. I can listen and see all the new things. I cannot do that when focused so hard on forcing and pushing and vigorously paddling. My attention is not on what is coming to me. It is focused on my effort and on a future end result that I am trying to create. This is so tiresome.

Effortless effort is the way of an expert. When I would watch Roger Federer play tennis, it seemed so easy for him. He seemed to let his momentum of the stroke and qualities of the racket do the work. Mostly, it is his relentless practice and openness to coaching create the ease of his movement. His footwork is like ballet. Smooth, graceful and swift. It is not enjoyable nor does an effort laden movement look attractive. In fact, rarely does doing something while trying so hard work out like you want it. One example is when I was learning golf and I was playing with two women. They weren’t as big as me yet they put the ball on the green every time. They had smooth, easy strokes and let the club do the work. I would swing so hard and rarely did I hit the ball correctly. I also have a very distant memory of myself as a child that I recall where I tried so hard and I literally fell down. I was in 1st or 2nd grade and playing football for the first time when I went through this lesson. I was being announced and told to run out to the field. All eyes were on me and the coach said … Run as hard as you can. I am a soul that has been easily swayed from my birth. I did not have a father figure or any real caring supervision who would nurture me so this was the most meaningful command by an authority figure. I proceeded to run as hard as I could and my head was running faster than my legs as I tried with the upmost effort. Shortly after beginning to run onto the field, I fell down. I did get back up and start running again. This is my earliest memory of trying too hard. Trying too hard is ugly. It isn’t elegant. It is unnatural.

I am learning to allow now. I studied the Tao for many years beginning about 8 years ago when I came across the book by Wayne Dyer – Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. I highly recommend it. I didn’t know that I was going to be learning Taoism. It is all about living in flow … effortlessly. Allowing God to take your desires and grant them with ease. I wrote recently about how my immense desire for Love, both familial and romantic, is something that I essentially try and control and clinch onto. It hasn’t worked out the way I want. I am tired of the effort. When getting fully exhausted from trying and using all my strength, I collapse. Eventually, you will have to stop paddling. When you collapse from using every bit of your own effort while paddling upstream, you will start to drift downstream whether you want to or not. Your boat may be backward at this point and you are viewing everything upstream and still do not notice the things downstream that can come to you. Kind of funny that no matter what, you will end up going downstream. If you are hard headed like me, you will recover some strength and begin to paddle upstream again and again until you get the epiphany of allowing and going with the flow.

“Go with the flow” has been a phrase that seems to be judged as lazy or a threat to mainstream culture. This Divine Wisdom is all about trusting the Universe or the Holy Spirit to give to you the desires of your heart. Putting your desires for happiness and joy in God’s hands is how you go with the flow. The doorway to this is between Hopefulness and Belief. The Current will suck you into this doorway if you let it and if you Believe in the goodness that God wants for you. God wants you to flow with ease. Like an expert without smacking of effort with your movement.

Another example of my learning to go with the flow happened yesterday. My carry on bag broke while on my trip recently. It is still functional, but the wheels are damaged and the handle broke so I began looking for another bag. I found a very fancy set of carry on and personal item type bags that satisfy the airlines sizes for these two things. I found them online and so I purchased them. It was an interesting thing. They are very expensive and I really prayed about whether I should buy these because of their cost. Because of my views on money and Abundance, I decided that it is okay for me to spend the amount that they cost. I was actually excited that I would have these fine pieces of luggage to use. I even thought about whether their prestige was falsely being used by me for my identity. I felt like they were not, however I knew when people noticed the brand, they would view me as wealthy. Well, halfway through the day I received notice that my whole order was cancelled. I still do not know why. I was a bit crushed to the point that I got in contact with their customer support. I really tried to reverse this course by my effort of changing this cancellation of the fancy, desired luggage. To no avail, I could not make this happen, nor did I get an answer to why the order was cancelled by them. I was disappointed. Before I bought these for a large sum, I consciously and with prayer put them in God’s hands. I felt that this was an example of Abundance because in spite of the fact that I could choose cheaper luggage that may even be better or more durable, I can choose something else that I liked. It seemed to flow as I received confirmation of the purchase and the cost was even taken from my account. Funny how things work. I feel that I did learn Abundance in this example AND I learned the skill of going with the flow. I learned that it was not in my best interest to have these right now and I can trust and believe that everything works out for the best and in my favor when I put my desires in God’s hands. Who knows? Maybe I will still get these items of luggage sometime when the time is right. I know that I don’t always know best and only the Creator of all there is knows. I trust our Loving Spirit of all things. I know and believe in allowing my life to flow downstream even though I struggle against the current at times … sometimes even unconsciously. Oh my God, I know all these little lessons are a gift. I welcome all the obstacles and challenges that bring Godly Wisdom. They are Perfect.
Does this resonate at all with you? Have you read the Tao Te Ching or the book I mentioned by Wayne Dyer? It is a commentary on each chapter of the Tao Te Ching. It is a very easy read and the audio book is in Wayne’s voice and so good. Feel free to give me your thoughts and perspective on what I just wrote. Our culture wants to destroy effortless allowing and label it as lazy or ignorant. I am tired of being tired and I am focusing on letting the beautiful stream of our Holy Spirit guide me to all I truly desire and notice the beauty of the flora and fauna of what is downstream.